What a day for America! Here we stand at the top of the slope, and it doesn’t feel nearly as slippery as Christian Republicans claimed it would be.
From this historic day forward, gay marriage is abolished!. There is no longer a need to utter the words ‘gay marriage.’ It’s now just plain marriage, getting hitched, being wed, getting railroaded…We are talking about equality, after all. Perhaps our LGBT friends will even take part in the great American tradition of the Shotgun Wedding? It’s official. Ben and Jerry honored the decision by renaming their sinfully delicious “Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, ‘I Dough I Dough.’
Of course, not everyone is stringing rainbow lights and throwing confetti over the Supreme Court decision. I believe Republican presidential contender Ted Cruz spoke for many of his conservative colleagues when he weighed in during an appearance on the Sean Hannity show. Cruz called the Supreme Court’s rulings on gay marriage and Obamacare; “The worst 24 hours in the existence of the United States.” Please note, Ted Cruz rates healthcare for Americans and marriage equality as worse than the civil war, the 1918 pandemic and slavery!
Cruz and Hannity were not finished, the two Tighty Whities will go down in history with the following remarks, which answer (then) President George Bush’s famously ungrammatical question “Is our kids learning?”
Cruz declared: “Today is some of the darkest 24 hours in our nation’s history.”
Sean Hannity agreed: “I couldn’t say it more eloquently.” ( possibly the most honest statement of Hannity’s career).
Clutching his hankie, and mustering great umbrage, Duggar pal, Uncle Huckabee thundered: “I will not acquiesce to an imperial court,” and blubbering about judicial tyranny. Rick Santorum wrote, “Today, 5 unelected judges redefined the foundational unit of society. Now it is the people’s turn to speak.” Pssst! Aren’t Superior Court Judges tend to be appointees? Maybe a presidential candidate should know that. YOU tell him!
On the sunny side of the street:
Bernie Sanders tweeted, “Today the Supreme Court fulfilled the words engraved upon its building: ‘Equal justice under law.’
“Now I too can get drunk in Las Vegas and marry a hooker in the Elvis chapel,” Orange Is the New Black star Lea DeLaria
And finally: “Love Wins” Ellen DeGeneres