Humordy News Network believes that major news outlets should cover mass shootings in a way that further diminishes the shooter – or ‘Needle Dick,’ with an emphasis on anonymity and his inadequate penis size. It is safe to say that he is compensating for the latter with many long-barreled guns that go ‘boom!’ This solution removes the glory he feels by hearing his name in the media, replacing it instead with embarrassing fun ‘facts’ – or educated guesses. No longer will shooters go out in an imagined blaze of glory, but with a whimper, and the knowledge that everyone in the U.S. knows he wets the bed!