Imagine home owner Barry McBee’s chagrin when his Christmas surprise caused an extremely undesired reaction, which certainly wasn’t what he’d intended! Barry McBee said he was aiming to make people chuckle by adding a Santa hat and white beard to the 5-foot-tall replica of Michelangelo’s David, the clothesless Renaissance statue with six-pack abs – an image at odds with usual depictions of a fat, jolly St. Nick. McBee’s humorous yard art isn’t limited to the winter holidays. “I just like to shock people to make them laugh, kind of break the monotony around here,” said McBee, who has all kinds of animal yard ornaments in his garage. “I just bring them out occasionally.” He sounds like the kind of guy I’d love to have in this neighborhood,with a massive collection of yard art, yet the restraint to use it for irony only.
First, one assumes that the statue “David” is well known, I suspect that may have been Barry McBee’s first mistake. To emphasize that this was not a lewd assault on the neighborhood, those who are familiar with the statue, know that in no way can Michelangelo’s David be confused with a tribute to John Holmes, even if he were standing in the cold, if you catch my drift, and I know you do. Big Spring residents didn’t care if this was an ironic and humorous Christmas decoration, with the festive Santa hat and long white beard adorning David for the holidays. In their opinion, McBee didn’t cover up nearly enough! The town either wanted the statue properly covered, or put in the back yard again where he resides most of the year, when he’s not freezing his naughty bits off.
As in all of these ridiculous matters, one must brace for the concerned adults to bring out the Big Guns, ‘The Children!’ While McBee doesn’t live on Main street, one gets the impression that every child was subjected to the shocking
scenario..as mom drove by. .Officials claim to have received calls stating that “Children were asking why Santa was clothless.” We don’t know how many asked, but it is a pity that the adults could not educate them about art,and/or irony. After all, what parent hasn’t thought up a good excuse for there being a Santa in every store, rather than just one at the North Pole?
A major investigation complete with photos and measurements ensued. Searches through city codes failed to find a violation. Rejoice! It is perfectly okay
to display your clothesless Michelangelo statue wherever and however you like. If McBee were the bad neighbor, and not the jolly soul who only wished to bring a giggle to his neighbors,he’d install David as a fountain with many spigots
ejecting water, crowned each evening by a colored light show and musical montage, but he’s not that kind of guy. (I thought of it, maybe I’m that kind of person?)
Since McBee didn’t wish to offend children, friends came to the rescue, by putting the snazzy pair of black and white faux velvet shorts with a saucy Christmas bow on the statue.
I could be wrong in thinking that the major issue is not the scandalous sight of a well known statue in full view of the young ‘uns. Is it an overreaction to nudity, a serious lack of humor and common knowledge….or too little to occupy the minds of the self satisfied warriors who snap into action when something like this arises. Let us not forget the seven thousand dollar curtain to cover another venerable statue, so that Aschroft could be seen in front of her frosty clothesless breast. Perhaps it’s mainly hypocrisy after all or Texans likes their Santas with clothes on.