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Common Core for Dummies, Beeler cartoon

Common Core for Dummies

The first thing to keep in mind about COMMON CORE is that it is only about math and reading; not evolution, politics, global warming, science or multiculturalism.

The second thing to remember is there is one name attached to COMMON CORE more than any other, Bill Gates. It’s sponsors also include the national Chamber of Commerce, Silicon Valley, Google, Apple and most people smarter than okra. The loudest deterrents are Louisiana, Mississippi, Sarah Palin, Steve King, Sean Hannity, Fox News and of course Ted Nugent.  Which all goes to show you that perhaps the most central issue in American politics is that stupid people really really hate smart people.

But perhaps the most important reason the destruction of COMMON CORE has legs is because stupid old farts like me and Louis C K. To be brief, when we see some of the questions on these Common Core tests or homework, we say to ourselves, I don’t give a rat’s ass WHY 2 + 2 is 4.  I HATE EXPLAINING MY ANSWERS!  And there are more essays, fill in the blanks than multiple choice questions. DON’T YOU HATE THAT!? That right there reduces your chances of being a right guess 1 out of 4 to nothing.

Of course the other big deterrent to accepting COMMON CORE is that Southern states want nothing to do with standardized testing. It really phises them off.  If you do not understand why that is, move on down here and within only a few days you will understand.

Are you feeling low?  Does everyone around you seem smarter than you?  Do you feel unattractive? Overweight?  Feel your teeth need work? Are you less educated than the rest of your peers at work?  Are you cold? Well come on down to Texas! You will suddenly be at the top of the game in most everything. Any concerns about a Yankee fitting in can be easily offset by carrying an assault rifle and putting a confederate flag on your bumper. Oh and be sure to call everyone SIR and end any conversations with BLESS YOU. And of course stay away from the white gravy which kills more brain cells than God.

Posted in Dumbutt,Texas

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