By now you know how we feel about mandatory pee checking. A case might be made for neurosurgeons or airline pilots – just before performing their jobs perhaps; but how about the most beloved darned Sugar Plum Fairy that the town of St Charles, Missouri ever had? A woman whose glittery wings and cheery demeanor usher in the spirit of the holidays each year?
The incident took place in a secluded bathroom stall, where unaccustomed to such scrutiny beneath her tutu, our fairy made a Class A mistake during the strict procedure. Realizing her error, an expletive deleted crossed her lips, thus sealing her fate as a trash-mouth (suspected) druggie. The irony is that she was fired for not following procedure, not a ‘dirty’ test. I – for one, will sleep better at night knowing that the forces of the DEA are keeping such low-life scum from the midst of the good folks who pay the cadre of pee checkers, jailers, police, bail bondsmen, reluctant rehab programs, laboratories – and I know I’ve left many out.
Late breaking news reveals that the town disagrees with the ultra-legalistic urine tester and naughty word censor and is rallying around their fairy.