When this ‘Cracked’ video ad titled ‘The Most Electable Candidate’ premiered in 2012, Ronald Montgomery Taylor was the candidate to beat, and certainly leads the field once again! What Montgomery lacks in substance, he possesses in an uncanny appeal to even the most diverse voters. His photo evokes strong feelings, as he holds the national accessory, a rifle, and in the other hand, he clasps a Bible-sized book of etiquette…He has MY vote on the latter alone – this is becoming a rude country.
As you will see, the most electable candidate harkens back to a simpler time: “A time when we used to work this land.” Apparently this was also “A time when politicians served the people.” Taylor already knows the answer when he inquires “Does anyone else miss America?” He knows full well that what you miss about America is miles from what your neighbor, who still chafes at having a black man in the White House misses about America…But he can somehow empathize with you both. The word ‘slippery’ comes to mind.
Before you view this video, please take a solemn oath that you will not release it into Republican hands. I am trusting you! Montgomery holds the keys necessary for lousy Republican candidates to enter the White House.
Observe this small sample please.
He is ‘pro choice’ – but not in the way you’re thinking, “just generally.”
We love candidates from humble beginnings. Montgomery Taylor confides: “I’m not some fast talkin’ politician, I grew up on a farm, right in the middle of Boston. My father was a simple farmer.” This is gold, is it not, he concludes: ” My mother was a simple Dean of Admissions at Harvard.”
This candidate covers every issue that concerns American voters. Says Montgomery Taylor:
“I know what you’re thinking: healthcare, abortion,Congress, banks – well I want you to know, I feel the exact same way as YOU.”
Ronald Montgomery Taylor, wants to be our President (so far he looks better than all of the GOP dullards put together,( but he did come from Central Casting) – a source we must keep from them at all costs.
The candidate does need an update for 2016. How does he feel about the Religious Freedom Act?
You know the answer already. “The exact same way as you. “