The real government intrusion we suffer does not come from Washington, it comes from city councils, local police and home owner associations.
In 1969 a permit was issued to allow the people of Harlem to use Marcus Garvey Park on Saturday evenings to get together and play to their roots with African Drums. This has been a unique and popular part of Harlem culture for 40 years. Many residents participate but most of The Drummers are now old men dressed in colorful African garb who believe it to be a spiritual event. Enter the Yuppies.
Five years ago President Clinton chose Harlem for his office which overlooks Marcus Garvey Park. This kindly move began a small upscale renaissance of new condos and residents in Harlem who don’t like drums. To the pain of many Harlemites, The Drummers voluntarily moved from the edge of the park deeper inside so passersby could no longer enjoy or partake in the Saturday evening cultural event. The move was not good enough for the new residents who still loudly complain of their quality of life and want it stopped all together.
This is one of those issues that grabs me by the balls and squeezes so hard I have to squeeze back. I can hear Queen’s big hit in the background, “I Want it All and I Want it Now!” We can no longer throw a stick for a dog in America. I have people down here in Dumbass call the police if they see me take my dog from the house to the car without a leash. There is no longer any live music on the lake Sunday afternoons because these anual retentive dumbasses have successfully canvassed the neighborhoods with petitions to stop it. And to top it off I recently read that the biggest problem in America is we are too damn fat.
Before we make all our trivial complaints perhaps we should remember that today there is a woman in Iraq in a black burka carrying a black garbage bag searching the rubble that was once her home for the heads of her children.
I refuse to quietly go into the night regarding these frivolous sniveling whiners and complainers nor will I give their side of the story the time of day. I already know their side of the story first hand. In all these cases it’s a matter of zero tolerance regarding some pettiness they may have to suffer for a very short time. Hell, they even call the police when a boombox car goes by at 30mph, that’s a 10 second annoyance.
On my lake or In Harlem it’s one evening a week during a few Summer months. The leash is not even about dog poop but potential dog poop. And in Harlem it is not about the quality of life but how as a society we have fallen so far inward that we have become a nation of spoiled fat little wankers in need of a big kick in the ass. As Jesus said, "Don’t be a wanker." 34:564
There is a solution. All Wankers will be picked up with the clothes on their backs, given a bag of salt pork and a bottle of water, taken to the airport to be flown over the Southern Sudan and thrown out the door with only a parachute and a return airline ticket non negotiable for one year. A hard slap of reality is needed before we all evolve into self absorbed blubber laden slugs.