Fox host ‘Andrea Tantaros and her posse blamed sexually active feminists for the increase in one-parent families, and the decrease in marriage these days. On Wednesday the Fox Teases, decked out in uniform short skirts, spike heels and suffering witchy face syndrome, bemoaned a study which claims that unwed,cohabitation is at an all-time high in the U.S.
.The report was presented by Fox Doc Manny Alvarez, who is known for protesting the Affordable Care Act, insisting it would lead to ‘socialized medicine and the end of private practice.’ Despite his failed prediction Doc Manny is always ‘on call’ to give medical creds to the Fox family. Hang on, the good part is coming.
The girls point their manicured fingers directly at other women. Andrea Tantaros asserted that marriage is in decline because – and this is important – “men don’t feel the pressure to get married, because feminism has encouraged women to “freely” have “sex like a man.” According to the gals, we as a society, are at a point where sex and marriage don’t have to go together anymore, and it’s the fault of those feel-good feminists!
Don’t despair ladies, Harris Faulkner knows how to reverse the trend for you gals who want your guy to “put a ring on it.” Faulkner sagely noted: “It’s really about the milk and the cow.”
If this quaint reference doesn’t strike a chord – congratulations. Ancient female folk wisdom once circulated, claiming: “A man won’t buy the cow if the milk is free.” Still puzzled? Let me explain. You ma’am, are said ‘cow’ and the ‘milk’ is not literal. When he realizes there’s no free milk, he’s run to that jewelry store! Alternately, he may decide you’re a conniving cow. Just keep yer legs together so the floozies on Fox will feel better about lurve and marriage. By the way, the gals seem to think that a return to the Fifties as seen on ‘Leave it to Beaver’ is the solution, where women held out until their wedding night – and other fairy stories. Faulkner blames the Seventies which ‘were wild’ – although she was but a wee tot at the time. A child of Shirley and Bob, she’s heard things about the days when feminists burned bras. Once freed, they lost their minds, presumably.
Before I proceed I’d like a man’s perspective on the old game immortalized in the ‘Georgia Satellite’s’ song in which there’ll be ‘no huggie no kissie ’til I get a weddin’ ring.” I believe it’s titled “Keep Your Hands to Yourself.”
Sound like manipulation or shrewd bargaining? I guess it comes down to cases, but a man whose going to stay with a woman will do it with – or without a ring.
Are there any solutions to the problem of teenage pregnancy which is the cause of a significant number of single-parent families? Yes, but you won’t hear them from this group! What the Fox babes won’t say is, we can turn the single parenthood caused by teen pregnancy around.
Sexual education is desperately needed, but despite the climbing rate of teen pregnancy, Foxophiles believe that teens do not think of SEX until a teacher presents a class on the subject. Why do Republicans have a memory block which prevents them from remembering what it was like to be a teenager? Because they do, free clinics are necessary, as is information and access to pregnancy prevention. All of these ideas are thought to be a progressive plot to despoil our young’uns.
So…Remember ladies, keep yer knees together and a ring should be in your immediate future.
Terms and Conditions: FOX is not to be held responsible if a return to the imagined fifties fails to provide a ring. It is well known that many of the white weddings in the era took place with a ‘bun in the oven’ and a shotgun at the door. Good luck!