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Halloween is the pedophiles Christmas, Onion

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Shelby Cross Teaches Us How To Protect Our Children On Halloween, A.K.A. The Pedophiles’ Christmas

Shelby Cross isn’t just here to scare the bejeebers out of parents as the new single man on the block, the one who gives out really good candy. There is no need for mutual suspicion if a few sensible rules are followed. Unfortunately Shelby has none of those, but she does share her own safety tips in a helpful cartoon-style presentation that children can enjoy along with their parents – or with that nice man down the street.