Idaho knows how to ensure good ratings in what are normally tepid, televised political debates. A recent gubernatorial debate was surreal and worthy of pay-per-view, as incumbent Gov. Butch Otter and Tea Party challenger Russ Fulcher were upstaged by two very long-shots.
Candidates Harley Brown and Walt Bayes provided the entertainment for the audience and the “normal” candidates as well. Neither candidate came right out and said what their platforms or policies would be, but one can read between the lines without the help of corrective lenses.
Harley Brown, who admits; “I’m about as politically correct as your proverbial turd in a punch bowl,” counts among his qualifications, a “Masters in raisin’ Hell.” Corrected, we will now refer to him as ‘Doctor Turd in a Punchbowl.’ His main concern seems to be the unfairness of police. Clad completely in his motorcycle leathers, he said,”We are cop magnets like a Playboy Bunny wearin’ a mini-skirt.” (The MAN is always tryin’ to bring you down) Hey, where are the other Village People?
Anti-Choice candidate, the curmudgeonly ‘Santa’ Walt Bayes, spent a great deal of the debate reading a long list of sins. The father of SIXTEEN won’t be pinned down on policy. We can guess that environmental issues don’t loom large, as he took the opportunity to enumerate one of his accomplishments,”I did kill a wolf while it was still an endangered species.” Bayes takes a dim view of most everything, although “the Eastern idiots” who run the country loom large on his ‘most hated’ list. He and Harley Brown seem keen on guns and shootin’ people. Surprise.
The two do agree on one thing, Political Correctness…They’re agin’ it. Says Bayes (father of 16!) in a confusing statement: “If I’m correct, then that’s the end of it.”
Harley Brown is quoted as saying “Hey diddle diddle, right down the middle.” This statement is open to interpretation, but undoubtedly competes with “Bang – gotcha!” for the selected quotation on his campaign posters.
Don’t take my word for it, there is a lot more action in this debate, and lots of good old homespun wisdom..Or what passes for it in some circles. If you’ve never visited Idaho, then you’re probably not a – um, joiner! The state is the home to many groups, as well as those who just want to be alone to enjoy doomsday from their bunker.
The expressions on the faces of the Governor and his challenger are worth the price of admission, they’re priceless.