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Horse herpes outbreak forces rodeo queens to ride stick ponies

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We only report the news. Living under a rock, I was unaware that horses develop debilitating herpes. What next? A dog with autism, or show cats with learning disabilities? TMI, I suspect my cat has autism. I promise a nice long letter devoted to the topic!

Back to the rhinestone studded stables.
I do think young and aptly named "Savanna Steed" was off a bit when she explained that ‘riding’ yarn festooned broomsticks demonstrated the contestant’s ability to adapt. Surely it did, but we may be onto something much bigger here!

In my humble opinion, this ultimate test for ‘poise’ should be employed in every beauty pageant, rodeo related or not! If you can carry off this charade in evening dress, tripping through nature’s ground mines in your Monolo Blahniks with a modicum of dignity, it speaks absolute volumes dah-ling! Confess, you’d much rather watch this contest than flaming baton twirling, or another little song bird.