John Oliver observes that the Democratic convention is off to a bumpy start, and the excitement building in convention-goers failed to climax in a wild and rousing hurrah when Hillary Clinton finally announced her running mate – Tim Kaine, a man most often described as boring and dull…By fellow Democrats. John Oliver describes Kaine in more colorful terms, one of which is; “a dry **** in the missionary position.” To be fair, Kaine doesn’t boast of his abilities. He doesn’t flash his trophy from the 2013 Press Club Spelling Bee, or show off in Spanish. He might break out his harmonica for a devastating blues concert with little provocation however. Think of the fun we’ll have! Kaine can jam with Bill on Sax to entertain foreign dignitaries.
Boring can be good. John compares both Vice Presidential candidates to rice cookers. They are the shiny presents the presidential candidates unwrapped to surprise us. If we expected a Rolex, a plain, utilitarian rice-cooker may have been disappointing.
On the other hand, the rice cooker that is Mike Pence, is covered by homophobic slogans, and held aloft by a chimpanzee who’ll bite your face off!
You see? We could have done a lot worse than a plain, dull, beige rice cooker Democrats.