John Oliver worries that the majority of elected US judges may not be strictly fair in their decisions, when they’ve been forced to pander to the electorate, and to accept – rather, demand campaign money to keep their jobs!
John is such a worrywart. Our system of electing judges is so advanced that only we and Bolivia employ the method.
John’s report is scary and amusing by turns. Judges aren’t particularly subtle or skilled in the art of campaign ads. John breaks them down into four basic categories of which the stupid and the tacky are perhaps the most amusing. Ads that appeal to voters who don’t feel the death chambers are getting enough use are the most frightening…For us, and for those in prison. It turns out that it’s good Feng Shui for judges to execute prisoners in October of election year.
Judges are expected to cajole, demand, employ guilt, and twist arms to garner campaign money. John’s squash illustration is far more amusing than mine, but the point isn’t lost. I know how seriously State Fair judges take their jobs. If you enter your squash in the State Fair, there may be five or ten dollars (and the glory, of course) riding on a win. Any bribe or ‘contribution’ – even a piece of pie and a cup of coffee, might be interpreted as an attempt to influence the judge, You and your squash will be bounced out of the competition, and shamefully disqualified.
My advice is to save your money for a traffic court judge instead, where it will do you some real good, he won’t be above giving you extra consideration. A traffic court judge is shown in this report, soliciting contributions from a biker club.They agree that they will indeed probably require his fair judgement one day, and gladly pitch in twenty dollars for his campaign.
This is not particularly relevant, but I find it interesting.
The traffic court judge is no longer in the legal system; but obviously not because of soliciting money. The judge erred when he was caught allegedly showing a court staffer cellphone pictures of “The judicial penis” which had been “intentionally groomed for photography.” This has me puzzled, was it wearing a bow tie?
The entire system is beyond sick and bizarre. Ohio supreme court justice Paul Pfeifer said ” I never felt so much like a hooker down by the bus station in any race I’ve ever been in as I did in a judicial race.”
No State Fair produce judge has never – to my knowledge, shown ‘The Judicial Penis’ to anyone. Also, the produce judge does not receive financial remuneration as a rule.Perhaps the answer is the replace sitting judges with upright State Fair judges who have honed their skills with squash, pies, amateur art, and odd collections?