John Oliver explores America’s wage gap between men and women and proposes a possible solution. No longer is Mel Gibson the only man who knows ‘what women want’ <Cough> It appears that everyone is aware of the continuing wage gap – although some quibble over the exact amount of the gap, while others feel it is an earned gap. Oddly, some who feel this way are women like
Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R WA) She has the audacity to say that women who receive less, deserve less…It’s a case of apples versus oranges, she claims, as some women don’t perform jobs which are equal to men, nor are they equally qualified. If you’d like her contact information email me. Like her male co-horts, McMorris-Rodgers didn’t prepare for a vote on pay inequality by reading the latest research which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that a pay gap exists between workers of equal skill and performance. To be fair, her job isn’t based on skill or performance.
Tragically , McMorris-Rodgers hasn’t watched the charming chimpanzee study which proves that grapes are a much better reward than cucumbers. The monkey who receives grapes, happily does his job, while the chimp who received cucumbers for his labor feels cheated, and is despondent and unmotivated. That is where the trial ends.
I feel there is one more important lesson to be learned from the experiment. The grape eating monkey feels no compunction to help his neighbor who does equal work, but only gets lousy cucumbers as a reward. Rodgers will now be known as the Grape Ape.
Thanks to the Grape Ape and others, Congress has blown off an equal pay bill. It will be lovely when the red coated Rodgers who was somehow elected in a blue state, is freed from her confinement, and can spend more time with apples…Surely voters will realize their mistake by the time the next election rolls around. Apple picking is one area where women are paid soley on their ability. Grape Lady already recognized the fruit, spending time high in the branches, teetering on a ladder with a full bag of apples around her neck can only do her good. It’s just a pity she can’t be paid in Ladybucks!
Many – like Republican Grape woman – which is easier to type than her full hyphenated name, feel that women deserve less money because the ladies make lousy choices. I mean really, they decide to have children, and some even stay home to raise them until they’re weaned! That is why the solution is to pay them in “Ladybucks.” The colorful, scented money is worth less than men’s green money, and they’ll think it’s so pretty that they won’t even complain. Problem solved!
* The Small Print
“Ladybucks are not for everyone. Consult your lawyer before using Ladybucks. Use of Ladybucks may result in class-action lawsuits, adverse publicity, failure to retain staff, or being kicked in the dick.”