On ‘Last Week Tonight, John Oliver rescues the failed New Hampshire Red Tailed Hawk bill, for the children, and for the ‘bad ass raptor.’ An enthusiastic civics teacher must have envisioned what a terrific learning experience it would be for the 4th grade class to draft a bill of their very own. They would then watch as it become law on a very special field trip, where they would thrill as they watched the democratic process in action!
The kiddies drafted a bill to name the Red Tailed Hawk the Official State Raptor; a lesson certain to involve and inspire the children, and imprint the legislating process on their young minds. The state lawmakers did their part in making it a memorable experience…Inspirational – not so much. Imagine the children’s eager faces as their bill came up for discussion. Some lawmakers seemed to feel that naming a state raptor was opening the door to a state hotdog – or worse! New Hampshire already has a state bird, a state flower and a state motto: “Live Free or Die!” This, according to John is “becoming a legitimately difficult choice.”
We presume a ‘state raptor’ was selected as an innocuous topic, which would easily pass. The children might as well have attempted to lower the drinking age to eight, or to legalize marijuana use in elementary schools, for the opposition they encountered! One ‘role model’ and state rep described in detail how the hawk tears it’s prey ‘from limb to limb’ then snarked “It would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood.” Would anyone care to explain that remark to the class,whose average age is 8-years old?
The bill was defeated in a vote of 133 to 160 – a morale crushing blow for the kids who worked so hard on the project. That is why John has come to the defense of the kids and the Red Tailed Hawk – which is now the ‘Official Raptor of Last Week Tonight.’ To install the Official Raptor, a video titled “Hawks Rock” was made, and overdubbed by the same guy who does all of the monster truck shows and tractor pulls. John proves beyond a doubt, that the Red tailed Hawk is ‘the most badass raptor.’
This honor should considerably ease the sting suffered by the kids; the loss of their innocence, and the knowledge that we’re in very petty and erratic hands!