"Yeah, we all need someone we can cream on, And if you want to, well you can cream on me." Let it Bleed by the Rolling Stones.
Two years ago a Houston doctor was lured by an undercover police officer behind a public restroom in a local park where the doctor dropped his drawers and, how does one say… Um… Rapidly handled his penis in front of the officer. In court the doctor claimed he was on his lunch break just looking for someone to talk to. He was found guilty and sentenced to community service and two years probation.
The weight of the conviction must have troubled the doctor who recently hired hot shot Houston Lawyer Dick DeGuerin to appeal his case. DeGuerin is most famous for defending David Koresh and the Branch Davidians who didn’t do anything wrong, well other than killing six policemen and shooting about 50 children in the head. DeGuerin is also the present counsel for Texas Lobbyist and Crook Tom DeLay.
You ready for this? Got your seat-belt on?
So the DeGuerin Defense is that the doctor’s penis is so small that it could not have been seen by the undercover cop. The penis in question was measured by a urologist at 2.8 inches and the palm of the doctor’s hand 4.2 inches. This means the penis was hidden by the doctor’s hand during the… Um… rapid handling.
Ahem. This job of court appointed penis measuring has me wondering. It must have been measured while erect or this is all meaningless. Right? And how is that done exactly? Is the urologist a man or a woman? How is the penis made erect? And who holds it while it is being measured?
The doctor said that he is so embarrassed about his penis size that he avoids exposure to all but his wife. One of those size does not matter ladies we may surmise.
Sadly for the doctor, not only did hot shot lawyer Dick DeGuerin lose the appeal, but now the whole world knows what a teenie weenie he has.
I will defer to the original author of this piece Dick Casey and not use the Doctor’s name. DeGuerin: Size matters; Court: Nah