Gold: Robert A. Niblock Chair of the Board and Chief executive of LOWE’S. Niblock’s sounds like a responsible position, likely to be held by someone capable of making good decisions doesn’t it? Faced with sponsoring the TLC reality show ‘All-American Muslims’ which could shine a light on ordinary Americans across the country who happen to be Muslim, Niblock decided to cave to the first racist, reactionary booby hatch who called – namely Pamela Gellar and The Florida Family Association – who were disappointed that the show did not portray terrorists in the everyday lives of the main characters. Tune in next week to see how Niblock fares in ‘Robert Niblock Gives Home Depot and True Value a Great Big Holiday Gift!’
Silver: Joe Amendola, Lawyer at large for (now doomed) Jerry Sandusky. Waiving Sandusky’s preliminary hearing, One-man Dream Team Amendola gathered reporters to make a dramatic statement – and he certainly did. Of all of the 800 numbers in all of the gin joints in the world, Mr. Homework directed reporters to one which is billed as "the hottest place for triple-X action." It’s all in the presentation.
Bronze: Glenn Beck has been leading up to this. Beck who has sold survival backpacks, overpriced gold, and wholesale terror – now has Frank, a post-apocalyptic genius to launch. So what if the tippy canoe Frank is to paddle has already been out for a spin. When he’s producing moonshine that’s more valuable than gold – who’ll have the last laugh, eh?