Gold: Rick Santorum sees the ‘fast growing’ food stamp program as a sign that poor people are eating too damn much. There is no way we can have a problem with hunger when he sees so many unsightly fat people. Of course the Food Stamp program might be growing due to the number of unemployed who no longer qualify for benefits or extensions thanks to Republicans, but that’s just my crazy idea not Santorum’s. The people who man the increasingly well attended food banks could tell him the truth of the matter were he truly interested. Of course he is not interested, and is well on the way to earning another meaning for the name Santorum. The enemy of LGBT rights, now deserves a special place for insensitivity to the starving people around him.
What about obesity? He’s got me cornered on that one. Yessir, a person who has scraped the sofa cushions for loose change, has a wide variety of healthy foods to choose from in the supermarket. There is low-fat salmon, beef, fresh vegetables and fruits! With a hungry family at home, our shopper must pass by all of those items to squander that buck fifty on a couple boxes of mac & cheese, and maybe a can of tuna if there is a good sale. It’s a pity Santorum won’t be faced with that decision at any point in his lifetime.
Silver: Glenn Beck. Yay! Glenn Beck is back with a major event for all of his fans to attend. ‘Restoring Love’ will not only solidify his roots in the Dallas,Texas area, but bring them all together with the gay prom industry. Wow, some people really do change!
Bronze: Gretchen Carlson & Fox Friends. It is almost universally agreed by sane people that President Obama made a terrific speech in Kansas. Of course, it has gone through the "Hear No Obama" Fox Monkey filter and come out as an unAmerican attack on liberty. Had Fox been on the scene, Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address would have come down to us in the same fictionalized form. Hey Fox, just drop the "News" already!