Nothing new here other than a new name, Amelia Hamilton, for gun enthusiasts to godify for getting it into our children’s heads that they need to BUY and OPEN CARRY a gun to protect themselves before they are ten. One thing I do like about this is that the message of having to carry a gun around to protect yourself from wolves and witches covers the same reality as it does in protecting yourself from terrorists.
OPEN CARRY CLEVELAND UPDATE: The Secret Service says no way will there be OPEN CARRY in or around the Republican Convention in Cleveland. To Arms! The Federal government destroys our God Given right to carry an assault rifle with a 100 round clip anywhere we want!
The problem with OPEN CARRY is not that everyone will be running amok with guns and bandoleers, but rather a few very angry, paranoid, stupid, overweight, bearded, single, white right-wing bozos will be out and about with their guns showing for the sole purpose of intimidating the rest of us.
But you know, I covered this over 20 years ago:
Little Red Riding Hood, Politically Incorrect Version
Once upon a time there was a dumb little broad named Little Red Riding Hood. This was back when people had four names, a few people still have long weird names today, which is good as it serves us in finding out who the problem people are when we can’t actually see them.
One day, being the abject airhead she was, Little Red Riding Hood decided to take a basket of fruit to her grandmother’s house through a wolf infested woods without proper weaponry. Her grandmother, an ignorant bimbo in her own right, had no job, so just laid around in bed all day waiting for someone to give her handouts. Not only was she a lazy bum living off the sweat of others, but she was also dumb enough to not possess a semi-automatic machine pistol which is what makes Gooseland the safe place it is. For as you know, Gooseland has only ten times as many gun deaths as other Oz, Middle Earth and Purgatory.
While Little Red Riding Hood was mindlessly wandering through the woods – as women always do when grappling with nature – unbeknownst to her a wolf got into Grandma’s bedroom, ripped her wrinkly old throat out, and fed on her internal organs until there was nothing left of the unarmed welfare leech but a frilly nightdress. The wolf, with a bent toward being a fag, put on the old lady’s jammies and laid in the bed figuring that sooner or later some other nitwit bimbo would be by whom he could eat.
By and by, Little Red Riding Hood entered Grandma’s house to see a large bloody mouthed wolf in a dress in Grandma’s bed. So the dumb chick, with her brain obviously wandering in that feminazi fantasyland they spend most of their time in, totally missed the reality of the matter and began commenting on the size of the wolf’s various facial features. The wolf, enraged at having to listen to the stupid broad’s nonsensical ramblings, jumped out of the bed and ate Little Red Riding Hood.
A Woodsman, a firm advocate of supply side economics, 2nd Amendment absolutism, sometimes owl hunter, seal clubber and whale harpooner was in the neighborhood clear cutting the forest and mowing down anything that moved with his arsenal of high tech weaponry. Hearing the slurping sounds of the wolf feeding on dumb broads, he ran into the small cabin and let fly 16 rounds of 12 gauge buckshot from his Street Sweeper, in less than ten seconds the wolf was shot into various hunks of flying flesh.
There is a moral to the story: It is okay to do the world a favor by eliminating liberal leaning feminazi bimbos, but we must for the sake of public relations, draw the line at eating them.