Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel
The Onion presents the findings of a report compiled by the Department of Health and Human Services. The long-awaited report clarifies that nearly every death is directly linked to our Heavenly Lord needing our deceased love ones up in Heaven. For instance, the report states that “He may need more beautiful babies to help him paint rainbows.”While this is an adorable image, perhaps this and other pat phrases seem cruel of simplistic to you now. If so, may I suggest that you recall the last time you were faced with attempting to comfort someone who had just lost a loved one Granted, some people are gifted in this area. Others among us just go blank…Until a regretfully trite phrase shoots out of our mouths. .
While you may know that the sentiments in this video are trite or perhaps untrue, it is still extremely difficult to find something comforting to say! If you don’t utter one of these idiotic phrases, the major card companies will do it for you!
I won’t give away all of the time tested phrases of ‘comfort’ which are used in the video, but to give you an idea, how many times have you heard someone say “There is a plan for us all” – as if that explains it, and eases the pain…So, let’s party!
If there’s a growing need of beautiful souls, perhaps that’s why He gave us Open Carry and Stand Your Ground laws. I have a feeling there will soon be an unemployment office in Heaven, with so many more arriving with greater frequency, and only so many rainbows in need of a paint job.