WTFark scoured late-night TV ads and struck gold with this ad for a must-have item for every red blooded American patriot on your list, – a table top flag that never stops waving! Before you dismiss it, let me remind you, this truly is – “a thing.” Really!
The little flag waves – contingent upon battery supply, but that’s not all folks! Old Glory doesn’t wave silently, it plays both of America’s favorite tunes, ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ and ‘My Country Tis of Thee.’ What a mood-setter, for any gathering.
This little beauty is just what President needs to stick on his limo, to show Rudy Giuliani that he DOES love his country! Rudy – not so much.
Pictured is a Norman Rockwellesque family gathered ’round the Thanksgiving table, with their patriotic center piece waving. Imagine Christmas, when you’ll wrap twinkle lights around the pole, hide Easter eggs around it in the spring, and blow that puppy to smithereens on the 4th of July! If you could fit this little waver on lapels, or put it on top of beanies, the Tea Party would purchase them by the gross. I kinda have a feeling that they are the target market that the designer/ future One Percenter had in mind.
As you’ll note in the video, flag waving is the preferred occupation of those who want to appear superior and patriotic, but aren’t excited by the prospect of military service, or service of any kind. Sure, they applaud veterans – and loudly. As John Milton said: “They also serve who stand and wait” – and they prefer to wait for the buffet to open while waving a flag. This little gadget completely removes the risk of carpel tunnel syndrome; always a danger with your more strenuous flag waving.Below is an approximation of the comedian on WTFark’s presentation. You won’t be sorry you watched it for yourself!
“Being an American is NOT about voting or having unparalleled social & economic freedoms, civil equality or pursuing happiness. It’s about owning sh**.” To paraphrase, “Being an American means I won the lottery of life. I didn’t chose to be born American, I was privileged to be born an American.
I can afford to spend $ 19.95 batteries included, on a tiny little flag that never stops waving, because I was born in a country that was rightfully stolen from those who weren’t using it correctly. It’s my GD birthright. And you know what? If you don’t agree, if you think the commercialization of patriotism is a way to monetize the narrow focused ideologies of the radical right, and its disproportionate saturation in only one hemisphere of the political spectrum lessens its strength, and diminishes its overall global reputation…Then I have nine little words for you. “America, freedom is the only way YAH!”