Boy, that Santorum dude… Either his head is way too small or his body is way too big. Something is wrong there. A Witch?
Did you get the message last night? Boy it came in loud and clear from the Ronald Reagan Library.
"WE WILL NOT HELP YOU! NO MATTER WHAT! EVER!"
Really! I am not kidding! That’s it! Three long horrible hours of one trying to out "fckyou" the other.
They are not happy with the pure free market capitalism they have won upon us, now they want to remove the safety net that makes capitalism viable. They are ready to fire millions of evil leeching government employees to create jobs. It’s a plan!
Michele Bachmann looked nicely stupid and did poorly
Rick Santorum has a tiny head housing and even tinier brain
Herman Cain is really really black
Newt Gingrich was mean and nasty per usual
Ron Paul looked old, stumbled and is certifiably crazy
Rick Perry tripled down on Social Security being a "monstrous lie" and "Ponzie scheme" and that Global warming was a scientific conspiracy.
So it turns out that the boring Mormon guy seemed the least insane of the bunch. A man who wears magic underwear and believes Jesus is from New York is the most reasonable one on stage.
Did I miss anyone? Oh yeah, that Santorum guy sure has a little head!
The Ronald Reagan Library audience was delighted and gave full applause when the moderator said there were 232 executions in Texas. Moments later came the biggest applause line of the evening. Texas Governor saw the opening and doubled down on his 232 executions to say "If you come to Texas and [do this and that], we will ENJOY executing you!" What a crowd pleaser! That made the Republican Christian Base wet their pants, let me tell you. Nothing a Evangelical Christian loves better than an execution! Wait… Wasn’t Jesus… Oh Never mind.
So let me restate the relentless message from the Republican candidates:
"WE WILL NOT HELP YOU! NO MATTER WHAT! EVER! AND WE WILL ENJOY KILLING YOU IF YOU DON’T BEHAVE!
Now there is some top notch IDEOLOGY, the buttery cream on top of the Sopa de Oro.
Winner – Mitt Romney
Loser – Rick Perry