President Obama pulled us out of the worst economy since the Great Depression, the stock market has more than doubled, the unemployment rate halved, reduced the cost of healthcare while insuring millions previously not covered, American war deaths cut by half and finally some preliminary action on climate change and immigration.
Oh, and a lovely trouble free family living in the White House, well other than the poorly dressed black daughters. So says a Republican blond white woman in a red dress. Who could have guessed? So much good news is obviously a conspiracy hatched by a team of European socialists and American community organizers to thwart Traditional Christian American Family values.
Republicans Question Obama’s Motives for Fixing Economy
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Two days after the release of an unusually strong jobs report, prominent Republicans appeared on the Sunday morning talk shows to question President Obama’s “suspicious motives” for repairing the economy.
“When there have been so many months of job growth, it does make you wonder what he’s up to,” said Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas). “You add in the rising stock market and falling gas prices, and the whole thing doesn’t pass the smell test.”
Appearing on Fox News, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell accused the President of “cynically fixing the economy to distract the American people.”
“This country faces serious problems, and I don’t think they can be swept under the rug by creating prosperity,” he said.
But the sternest rebuke came from House Speaker John Boehner, who warned, “If President Obama doesn’t stop fixing the economy, Congress has ways to make him stop.”
“If the President thinks he can fool the American people by putting them back to work and raising their wages, he’s headed for a rude awakening,” he said.