From Donald Trump’s perspective, the Republican Convention next week will be a Bang-up good time, but reluctance from party delegates to back him or even attend, the refusal of sports stars to speak, massive protests and Ohio citizens enjoying their second amendment right to open-carry weapons, makes the convention sound like a HOT MESS to be avoided.
In the past, the boring event was anxiously anticipated by Republicans. Now, it’s difficult to find enough bodies to start a Pinochle game. To his credit, Mike Pence (now, Trump’s running mate) phoned over 50 Republicans who declined to attend – much less speak. Pence clearly beat out all of the other contestants, who can’t handle rejection.
“Senator Sasse will not be attending the convention and will instead take his kids to watch some dumpster fires across the state..” Sasse is one of the few who gave a good excuse for not attending. ‘It’s as if Emerald City turned into Chernobyl.’ said a GOP insider.
The Republican platform isn’t raising any goosebumps either. Think taking Prairie Chickens off of the endangered list, and outlawing promography.If you believe the latter is hypocritical, remember Paul Ryan creates his own. It’s only professional promography that is in danger.
With sparse crowds and a lousy platform, Seth envisions a lively ‘cheering’ session from those who’ve carried guns to the event. “Everybody bring guns, that way people don’t have to cheer during Trump’s speech, they can just shoot them into the air like Yosemite Sam!”