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SNL Cold Open: MLK Day and millennials

SNL, MLK and Millennials Recently I made the mistake of getting a smart phone when a cell phone did the job just fine. I must  add that I am retired and don’t go anywhere other than to CVS to buy Fixodent and hearing aid batteries. And beer…

Hemingway, it only took a few weeks to realize what a big mistake it was. This gadget should not cost me an extra $40 a month, but I should be paid that much to carry it around.

It’s a damn police collar!  Which I am required to carry it at all times, to answer within 60 seconds these things called messages. No one answers my phone calls, and the phone call part of it works far less well than cell phones do. And I  have to be constantly aware of it running out of juice multiple times a day.

I just got a message with a picture of a pile of duct work which because I did not reply, I am now on my daughter’s pooplist.  I can think of not one single thing this machine had done for me to make my life any better. Though I did just learn to talk fast into it and the messages did come out fairly well to then send. Though I always have to go back into the middle of it to change one word or so, which takes a long time. While doing that this morning it came to me why in the Hell am I talking into the phone which changes it to text, and then sending it on when I could just call? I don’t understand the point of it. I think humanity has been ultimately duped.   

Oh, and where I am is NONE OF YOUR FKING BUSINESS. I am locked in to this horror show for another 22 months.