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Stephen Colbert does not want to go to the bathroom with anyone

Stephen Colbert does not want to go to the bathroom with anyoneStephen Colbert does not want to go to the bathroom with anyone for two reasons, number one and number two.

Reminds me of a story…

I began my school days as the youngest kid in the class as my Halloween birthday was the last day before the class year cutoff. Add to that that God saw fit to stall my physical move to puberty by a year. So in middle school where such things matter I was actually two physical years behind my peers. Everyday I had to suffer the shower room cruelty from not a few boys who had no compunction with making me feel like crap everyday at around 11am for over two years.  This also meant that my choice of sports was limited to curling.

So I know something about the pain of having to get clothless and show my genitals to strangers. Which from what I gather Christians do in bathrooms. Christians are in a hurry, what with rapture coming soon and all, so as soon as they get past that first door they pull down their pants and lift their dresses proceeding to that open row of toilets beyond.

Listen Christians, just because you wander around in public bathrooms –  and subjectively everyone else – with your pants around your ankles and your dresses over your heads doesn’t mean everyone does.

Transgender people have been using their bathroom of choice without incident for as long as God has been creating them, so why is it suddenly necessary for Republicans to create more big government in our lives to police bathrooms? Are they on the run politically and need some attention to remind us that intolerance is beautiful.

What are they going to do with the millions of small businesses that only have one bathroom? You know they have locks on the doors and two people, or OMG three people and a turtle can go in there and have it it.  I suppose the answer to all this is technology. Cameras in every bathroom stall in America which will create jobs for Christians to watch the banks of monitors.

BTW, these Christians do seem to understand that a cop checking everyone’s genitals in every public bathroom in America is problematic, so at least one lawmaker in N. Carolina has submitted an amendment to their present law giving $2500 rewards to women who will peek under toilet stalls to report men in women’s bathrooms.

Posted in Religion

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