Little Suzie Newsykins has been learning a lot this campaign season about how grownups run for important political office. Of course you need debate skills…But you need a lot more money! It helps to know foreign policy and boring stuff like that – but a good publicity shot is worth whatever you have to do. Pump iron, wash clean dishes or eat donuts with other unemployed folks. Heck, make up a teary story about your relationship with a hero. As long as his mom doesn’t show up and bop you over the head with her handbag, you’re golden!
Finally, if you’re prone to tears like little Abby (‘Bronco Bama’) from Colorado, you probably do not want to know why this is all a waste of time, because of the secret process used by undecided voters to determine the fate of a nation!