Onion Week in Review, Diets don’t work and Tim Tebow, June 10 2013

the onion dietTim Tebow!  Why isn’t he on Fox News?  Is Tim Tebow too smart for Fox?

We have to make sure all Republicans understand that dieting does not work. That drinking quarts of Coca Cola a day is not only good for you, but a slap in a liberal’s face. And they need more guns in their family rooms, with bigger clips. And that because Blacks can use the NWORD they can too.

Jimmy Fallon is HOT As Tebowie Returns Singing His Version of “Rebel Rebel!”

 

 Jimmy Fallon is HOT As Tebowie Returns Singing His Version of  "Rebel Rebel!"

When Tim Tebow signed with the Patriots,  he couldn’t possibly leave the controversy behind him.  Tebowie – who resembles both David Bowie and Jimmy Fallon, returned to perform a new version of David Bowie’s “Rebel Rebel.”   You don’t have to be a fan of Tebow or Bowie to appreciate Jimmy Fallon’s amazing performance. He continues to absolutely nail performers from Jim Morrison to ‘The Shopping Chick’ in the Michelle Obama dance spoof.

See the special ‘Tebow Tebow’ lyrics below, in case you want to sing along – and you know you do!

TEBOW TEBOW

Most famous backup in the world
We’re not sure if you’ve had sex with a girl
You barely played, but that’s alright
Your biggest fan is Jesus Christ

They sat you down, strung you along
Now’s your chance, to prove them wrong

Tebow Tebow, released from the Jets
Tebow Tebow, you’re a Patriot
Tebow Tebow, it’s Tom Brady’s show
Will you play? I don’t think so …

You were on the Jets, your arm is a mess
You can’t throw a pass, so they started Sanchez
You’ve got your old Heisman but you still got fired
You got a new job, now you’re back in the news
You bought some new Uggs to fill Tom Brady’s shoes
Cuz you hate the Jets
So does Bill Belichick
It’s your chance to impress

So now learn to throw
I said, now learn to throw

Tebow Tebow, released from the Jets
Tebow Tebow, you’re a Patriot
Tebow Tebow, it’s Tom Brady’s show
Will you play? I said hell no …

New New New New New New England