Gleefully sending our neighbors and trespassers to the Lord through good aim aside…
The issue became national when pistol packing jogger and sometimes Governor of Texas did in a 30 pound coyote on a trail within Austin city limits. He told of the instance two months after it happened. He claimed the wily coyote stared at him and his daughter’s Labrador Retriever "puppy" so he let it have it with his laser sighted .38 he carries in his belt. "He became mulch." Perry said. ACME
PRODUCTS no match for Texas Governor
I spent most of the morning trying to find out how old or large this "puppy" was. To no avail, hundreds of stories and no info on that at all. Also we find that most always the Gov jogs the area with a security detail but was alone with the "puppy" this time. There are no witnesses and no body (it was mulched by a one hollow point round from a .38). So would the governor of Texas invent a story just to get a pat on his pointy little head from the present leader of the GOP, Sarah Palin? You betcha!
I found that the real story is in the popular reaction to this. Newspaper and Internet comments overflow with the righteous action of self defense. The horror of man eating coyotes! The bravery of a 200 pound man and his Labrador retriever bringing down an unmoving "staring" coyote at a distance! The dogged joy of it! I could not help but notice some commentators – whose avatars were confederate flags – seemed sexually aroused by the story. Or perhaps it was just their foul mouthed threats directed at anyone who would defend these man eating beasts from Hell.
Locally we have two similar issues at play down here in Dumbutt.
First is the story of a man who publicly noted concern over a dozen or so neighborhood squirrels he found recently shot in and around his yard.
Letters to the editor and local talk radio went (excuse me) nuts! I never new how intrinsically evil squirrels were! My God! Did you know they are no different than rats! No difference at all, in fact they are worse than rats because we do not hate them as much as we should! Did you know they eat roofs to invade attics and then eat ceilings! And poop in the eaves! They also have rabies and steal your nuts if you leave them laying around! I had no idea! They also quite often climb bird feeders and STEAL the sunflower seeds! They are horrible horrible things that have no place on this Earth.
The responses are about 100 to 1 claiming squirrels are second only to Satan and Obama as the greatest evil at work in destroying our Texas way of life.
Secondly, in the next neighborhood over here, we have a roving gang of Muscovy ducks reeking havoc upon hard working Texans. This species is a hybrid of farm duck and wild duck that seems to populate most of the Southern United States. Some people breed them on their acreage for the eggs which are pricey and in demand. Though we hear eating the ducks themselves not all that satisfactory.
So this gang of ducks has been running amok over there in Little Dumbutt for… Hmm… Since I have lived here which would be about 30 years now.
Little Dumbutt is a small area of a few hundred homes mostly surrounded by a local bayou, average homes but no sidewalks. So these horrid creatures – there are about 25 which also hasn’t much varied over the years – have just about destroyed Little Dumbutt.
In small groups they cruise the neighborhood by day (they sleep at night) pooping in the street! It gets on your truck tires! They also invade homeowners yards eating bugs and worms in the shrubbery! The horror does not stop there as they have been known to chase small dogs, cats and children who mess with them. They have even on occasion bit some people on the ankle with their rubbery beaks! OH MY GOD! The horror…
Talk radio is alive with the issue – lock and load! And again newspaper and Internet comments run 100 to 1 claiming Muscovy ducks are only third to Satan, Obama and squirrels as the the greatest evil out to destroy our Texas way of life.
When you hear Republicans shout…"WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACK!" You now know what that is really all about.
So please add this critter killin’ to the rest of the wonderful personality traits of Republicans. The joy of shootin’ neighbors, of water-boarding, preemptive war, executions, corporal punishment and laughing at saving whales, owls, trees and even the Earth itself.
We have been at work here at rackjite.com now for most of 15 years trying to find one (1) GOOD, KIND, NICE, GENTLE or HELPFUL thing any Republican has done in the past 30 years. We have yet to come up with anything. If you know of such an instance please notify us immediately.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers had it right in 1984 with their song "True Men Don’t Kill Coyotes"