Lauren Mayer performs a little ditty for the extravagant, jet-setting, ab-displaying Hunk – Aaron Schock, who moonlighted as a congressman, until his Downton Abbey office remodel drew national attention. If points were awarded for enjoying tax-payer money to the fullest, Aaron Schock, would win a prize. The congressman who has been living large and lovin’ it, seems to have the innocence of a puppy when confronted with his bad deeds! In his hometown of Peoria, last week, Schock was asked whether he broke the law of ethics rules. Schock said, “I certainly hope not.” He said he could not definitively say so because he is “not an attorney.”
You’re undoubtedly aware of the Downton Abbey remodel (upwards of $100,000) which drew widespread, negative attention to Schock. The ‘decadent’ office decor (just like Lord Grantham’s drawing room) – right down to the pheasant feathers makes him happy…So do massages, and travel, where he does the things we only dream of – but it isn’t a waste of taxpayer money. Whether Schock is booking private jets to attend Chicago Bears games, or taking interns to a Katy Perry concert, his constituents can enjoy it too. While Schock is snowboarding abroad, or learning to Tango in Argentina – you can enjoy it on Pinterest, thanks to his full-time photographer!
Rumors have circulated that Schock and his constant camera companion are gay, and constituents are loathe to pay for their vacations together, but according to Schock, he is a straight man! Just look at his typically Republican voting record, which has consistently been anti-gay rights. Either he truly is flamboyantly straight, or hypocritically gay! According to Barney Frank weighed in: ” Aaren Schock should be exposed if he is gay.” Frank explains Shock ‘voted in an anti-gay fashion.’ Schock’s anti-gay voting has caused constituents and fellow lawmakers to dub him the ‘Anti-Equality Rep’
If Schock appears to be extravagant, crooked and hypocritical; he’s not very good at expense reports either. How long would you be employed with an expense account like this? To justify chartering private jets to the Schock Victory fund, Schock listed them as ‘software.’ When listing his mileage for reimbursement, the number he cited was far above the one on the odometer of his car… Ouch! Likewise, he is involved in questionable real estate deals with big donor groups, where we assume he keeps the figures a little more straight.
There is much more that the golden boy from Peoria has done to feather his opulent nest and lose the voter’s trust…But that’s not why he’s stepping down. Shock says he is resigning “because all of the questions
have proven a great distraction that has made it too difficult for me to serve the people with the high standards they deserve, and which I have set for myself.”
No doubt the questions have been “too distracting to ‘serve the high standards he has set for himself.”
Keeping six-pack abs like that must take hours a day, for which mandatory attendance at a ‘job’ can only be a huge interference!