On a hilarious Tuesday Night Web Redemption, Tosh O listened as Christian activist, mom and public menace Christine Weick, proved that Monster Energy drink is the work of Satan! Weick showed Daniel Tosh how she used numerology to determine the label is the handwork of the Devil. Actually, ‘Monster Energy Drink’ uses an artsy fartsy font, which is clearly based upon horror movie graphics which will be familiar to you, even if you’ve never seen the movies. ‘The Omen’ logo comes to mind. How ridiculous! Then again, movies come from Hollywood, and it is the official Devil’s playground!
Christians, she says, should drink Mountain Dew for a little pick-me-up, or snort cocaine. One of the two alternatives is only my suspicion. Daniel Tosh received no gratitude for allowing Weick to vent on his show. She accused him of being “one of the biggest problems today” clarifying that Tosh stands for “taking others straight to hell.” Weick is not at all surprised that the video has been seen by many, who enjoy great lines like, “Bottoms up, and the Devil laughs.” Weick explained her heavenly success to Daniel, and it proves just how special she is.
“God gave me that gift to be able to present it in a way that was perfect,” she gloated. “And then He said, “and now is the time that you’re going to go viral” Tosh did not explain that going viral isn’t always positive.
Weick claims there is a spiritual agenda, and warned “It’s not flesh and blood we war against. It’s the principalities of the air, and if you’re not familiar with that, those are demons.”
Funny that…Christine Weick had to be exorcised from the National Cathedral! It was a proud moment for the Christian warrior when she breezed through heavy security to screech at Muslims gathered at an interfaith prayer meeting. The event was touted as a ‘call for unity between faiths.’ Representing the Faithfully Unhinged, Weick, who often carries signs stating that she serves a ‘live’ savior, while misguided Muslims serve a ‘dead’ prophet,’ . She charged to the front of those gathered, interrupting the service to give those Muslims what-for. In true ecumenical spirit, she screeched: “America was founded on Christian principles . We let you build your mosques, leave our churches alone!” That was when two burly security officers hustled her ‘off to Buffalo.’ Weick has received much criticism, but she does it all for humanity. Way to win friends for Jesus!
Weick is compelled to perform such idiotic antics. As she told Daniel Tosh:
“My biggest fear is that I speak to someone and I do not share the gospel with them, and they go to hell for it.”
Mission Accomplished. If people refuse to heed her warning, they may spend eternity in a place where she – is not.
That’s not all God had in store for Ms Weick. Her Mother’s Day video has also gotten a lot of play. Satan, and Muslims aren’t alone on her hate list…There is room for gays! On Mum’s Day she stood on a busy thoroughfare, with a sign bearing the suggestion: “Thank Your Mom Today for Not Being Gay.” Some mother hater splashed her with a Slushie.
I’ve always labored under the delusion that straight people give birth to gay people. Also, what about gay people who adopt, or have a baby via a surrogate doner? These and other questions will undoubtely be obfuscated by that devil-huntin’ mama – coming to your viral video line-up near you.
Please contribute to the ‘Slushies for Sickos’ Fund. A sicko sign is a terrible thing to waste.