Gold: "Professor and Dean of Beck U" Glenn Beck gets the golden booby prize today. His color is high, pulse pounding as he uncovers yet another dastardly cover-up! Why can’t we find footage anywhere of Robert Byrd filibustering the Civil Rights Act of 1964? Why IS that! You can’t slip anything past Beck, unless it requires a simple Google search.
Silver: Sen Jim Demint R-SC is disturbed. He is also disappointed by the refusal of his fellow lawmakers to interpret their sworn oath in the way he sees it, not the way it reads! Nowhere can so much as an allusion to work together for "a small and limited government" appear, except in Demint world.
Bronze: Mel Gibson, named Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine in 1985, is now one of the most Horrid Men Alive. The uber-Catholic, now father of eight children who brought us the snuff-film, "Passion of the Christ" won’t be lecturing us on the big screen again any time soon. Since his romance with the bottle uncorked his real feelings, he’s left his wife and children for a younger woman with whom he’s had another child. His
recorded disenchantment with the girl-friend is bleep filled and far from gallant. Previously he blamed Jews for the world’s problems, then African Americans, and is now on a vendetta to report "a wetback" who is somehow representative of the people who are taking money from him. Pssst Mel, your money is going to the liquor store, child support, lawyers and fines for your DUI convictions. Stuff a cork in it Bravemouth, before we begin to think that you own a tri-corner hat with tea bags tied to it.