The second night of the convention at the ice house was a different evening for me. Bubba had brought his sister-in-law along. Okra was not a selfish bigoted secular conservative like her brother-in-law, but a selfish bigoted Christian conservative. We moved from our regular spot at the bar to a table not too close to a floor fan so we could hear the TV above us set in the rafters. I immediately found Okra’s bad side by asking if she had any siblings named Grits. I knew Bubba had warned her about me when she said she had heard I was the Ice House Godless baby killer. She said it with that fake smile crap I can’t stand, so I replied it was better than being a hard green vegetable that tastes like crap, and then laughed like hell. We were off to a good start.
Bubba shushed us as Arnold took the stage. The next 20 minutes seemed a page from Kafka, there were these two hardcore Republicans booing the keynote speaker at the Republican Convention, while this baby killer applauded from time to time. When it was over I told them that besides his stupid comment about a Nixon Speech which made him a Republican, it was the best speech I had ever heard from a white man. "EXACTLY!" the two of them cried in unison.
Okra called him a liberal baby killer, but Bubba was only annoyed that Arnold’s speech lacked the proper conservative bile and bloodlust. And not once did he say he would eliminate Bubba’s taxes.
Laying in bed that night I sorted it out. Much to my dismay, Arnold, more so than Giuliani, represents the future of the Republican Party, a big smile attached to a reasonable ideology rather than that humorless smirk of religious intolerance in control of that party now. With their choice of convention speakers, the GOP realizes the majority of us have had enough of that crap. Aronld’s delivery was Reaganesque and he came off as a very pleasant, though not brightest of bulbs. A win-win for the GOP. For few Americans want anyone smarter than they are in the White House.
Though I doubt three fourths of us will decide to change the constitution to make Arnold president, he is the face of the GOP future, which may be far harder to beat than the GOP of today.