On the third night of the convention Bubba, Okra and I were in the throes of discussing queers getting married. Okra sited the Bible and Bubba John Wayne, but both came to the same end, ITS DISGUSTING! I asked what was disgusting? The love they felt for each other, or wanting the same advantage of family rights as anyone else? Other than the silly conservative slippery slope argument that it would mean people will then get married to a clam AND a penguin, they concluded that it was what they did clothless that was so disgusting. I asked if they judged everyone in terms of what they did clothless. I even asked them both if they spent a lot of time thinking about what I did clothless, adding that I sure as hell haven’t spent a nanosecond thinking about what either of them did clothless. That generated a bit of anger so I closed up saying that what my parents did clothless sure as hell disgusts me, I just don’t dwell on it.
The bit of anger at our table was soon drown out by the evenings keynote speaker. In fact I cannot recall ever seeing so much anger presented at a convention, or for that matter, by anyone outside a 1930’s Nurenburg rally. As Zell Miller went from angry to mad to insane, his bloodlust not only usurped the floor of Madison Square Garden with foot stomping abandon, but also the floor around my table at Jesus’ Ice House. The juices flowed as the national scream for an ever rising body count swept the land.
Okra, tuckered out in a joyous blush, had to sit down and rest leaving only Bubba standing and cheering to the end. I noticed her quick glance towards Bubba’s waist and back down to her Zima. Zell was so good at what he was doing it had given Bubba a stiffy. I had always wondered what conservative did to get it up in the bedroom, but now that I knew, I became so disgusted I decided it was time to enact legislation to keep conservatives from marrying.
Later that night watching the pundits it got even worse. Chris Mathews asked Zell about his remark that Kerry wanted to use spitballs against al Qaeda. Zell replied in his very unfunny rabid manner that he wished he was in the studio with Mathews so he could answer that question properly. When Mathews replied with an incredulous blank stare to the threat, Zell went on to say he wanted to shoot Mathews in a duel. Hey, I have often wanted to give Mathews a poke in the nose myself, but not shoot him. I am just not angry enough I guess.