Pope Bill O'Reilly! Not only eligible but not a bad choice at all. Really. Oh crap. Married… But on the plus side he's a proven male chauvinist pig! But he has had sex. Can't have that… Hmm… Hmmm… Well I guess that limits it. White smoke? What are they smoking in there?
We can't expect much change coming from the Vatican, but you know they could easily make one profound change. Take the rubbers out of their ears and flush all that archaic, meaningless, senseless and STUPID birth control crap down the toilet. It makes no sense at all, and makes the world an ever more horrible and dangerous place to live for everyone. Except the pope.