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America is Like a BAD Boyfriend

America is Like a BAD Boyfriend College Humor Video Exclusive

College Humor’s Exclusive video shows that like any bad boyfriend, America takes his girlfriend (us) for granted. The girl loves him with a devotion that borders on mania. The besotted girlfriend  would truly lay down her own life for the guy…And she gets plenty of opportunities to do it, when he gets embroiled in battles. He doesn’t start them, she’s quick to say. He’s a peacemaker – with a lot of guns.

Oh, get this! He snoops in her email. We know he screens her calls and he openly reads her text messages. When you call her out  on it, as any friend would, she says it’s okay, because he only does it to protect her. That’s love.  With vacant eyes, she mumbles “I love American, he’s the best.”  It really gets old hearing her chant his praises at times.

Prince Charming is always ‘borrowing’ money, and spending it on other women!   All of her friends say she deserves better…And sometimes, she realizes it, and kicks him to the curb.

But – what’s this? In just four years, he’s had a complete change of heart. America has matured, he knows what’s important in life.  All he wants is to please her, to make her his number one priority. He sounds like a red, white and blue Barry White record, hey?  Just ask, and he’ll promise to deliver whatever her heart desires. She’s longed to hear him say, ‘we’ll move forward together’ and ( you don’t look fat in those jeans)  because, as hopeful women have said through the ages, “I know I can change him.”