West Dumbass Texas – President George W. Bush announced Tuesday that he is planning a summer vacation trip to his ranch in Crawford, Texas.
“I’m looking forward to getting’ down there, since Cindy Sheehan won’t be around,” said Bush.
Bush said he intends to relax, reprogram his I-Pod, fish for catfish on the property, and “mess around on my tractor.”
Bush has been going to his Texas ranch several times a year since assuming the presidency. He usually clears brush, a mainstay of presidential activity since Ronald Reagan made it popular in the 1980s.“Oh, yeah, I got to clear some brush, “said the smiling president. “I clear it there, so we won’t have to clear it here.” As for sagebrush and mesquite, Bush quipped, “Bring it on!”
The President also squelched rumors that recently resigned Karl Rove would be at the ranch, orchestrating a scenario where Bush drives up to the ranch house door in his brush-clearing clothes, his pickup truck filled with illegal aliens, leaps to the ground, and declares “Mission accomplished!”
“Nah, Karl and I talked about, but we thought it would detract from the grandeur of the occasion,’ said the President.