The public reached out and answered the Oregon Militia’s demands with packages of vibrators and the like, but Jake Metternick and his band of outlaws are here to say that enough is enough!
As we enter week three of the one-sided stand-off , Conan uses a special satellite link to talk with Jake Metternick and his fellow’ patriots.’ Clearly the group has calmed down after the initial shock of receiving a bounty of ‘marital aids’ instead of the requested Mountain Dew and smokes.
Rather than repeating the initial request list, Jake has pared the group’s needs down to the essentials. The group still believes that you should support them for the ‘sacrifice’ they’re making. Still, they are willing to be more reasonable this time. The boys are cold and hungry, and need only basic food and clothing items. The good news is you can probably find leather masks and edible panties at the same one-stop shopping center!