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Crazyass Mike Huckabee For President

Huckabee morphs into Keith RichardsGov Mike Huckabee is trying to burst out to the pack of Republican candidates. He is one of the three who believes that God invented the world 6000 years ago and put down billions of older fossils and facts because God gave his only begotten son to confuse scientists.
On Huckabee’s big day on Fox News Sunday he dusted off old Dickass Armey’s flat tax plan; the elimination of all progressive taxation replaced with a regressive 30% federal sales tax on all things. He is right that it benefits the poor because they can only afford shine and crank which are both sold under the table and not taxed (perhaps I have been watching to much COPS). But his plan sure does give corporations and the wealthy the nicety of paying just about no taxes at all, which of course is what Jesus would do.
Speaking of Jesus, Mike is also the one who is most loved by God and the most adamant about denying women their reproductive rights. After about five minutes of comparing abortion to slavery, he arrived at the conclusion that all things morally wrong must be made illegal. That’s not so bad, it means he is for the end of capital punishment, preemptive wars, boxing and whacking kids around. Oops, I misspoke, he is for making only what he personally finds morally wrong illegal. So please disregard the above listing of moral institutions and replace them with adultery, sex education, rubbers, homosexuality, and of course what keeps so many men from going postal, the hummer.
I am going out a limb here to conclude that Cho, Klebold, Harris and that complete list of asocial male gunloons shooting up schools, workplaces and restaurants all had one thing in common, they were all Hummerless Humans. Which I also suspect is the case concerning Osama Bin Laden and that entire gang terrorists. Perchance have I, sitting here on my ass in Texas, fumbled upon the answer to eliminate humanities propensity to violence?

Posted in Kick!

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