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How to decorate your Christmas Trees, The Onion

onion christmas treeTies! Now that’s a good idea! Finally a use for the damn things. Though I have found them useful on rare occasion when the toilet paper runs out.

Is there any benefit at all to having a young tree cut down, transported by diesel hundreds of miles, put in your living room for a week and then to the curb were it ends up in an already too full of a landfill?  Any positives there at all? And I’m doing it.

And hey, looks to me like a Christmas tree is not white like everything else about Christmas. Hold it. I am reminded of white plastic trees. Which are better for the environment. On no!  It’s hard to do THE RIGHT THING, which is probably why Republicans have never tried it.