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Flying dust proves we landed on the Moon

dust proves we landed on the MoonWe really landed on the Moon? Oh yeah? Says who? Scientists!? The same scientists who tell us that global warming is real? Who claim we evolved from monkeys? Who say burning fossil fuels increases the CO2 in the atmosphere which is bad for us?

Or are these not scientists at all but smart people who think they know everything just because they DO STUDIES and WRITE BOOKS and STAY IN SCHOOL until they are 40?

Chances are these scientists and smart alecks are also part of the 5% of humanity who are atheists. They probably don’t even believe in UFOs, Ghosts, Ancient Astronauts and Bigfoot. Which the rest of us know exist because they are the top documentaries on basic cable.

In fact just last night I was watching FINDING BIGFOOT in which the production crew had gathered a few dozen people from up North in Wisconsin and with the cameras running asked for a raise of hands of those who had seen or heard a bigfoot. They all raised their hands. So there you go. End of argument. No STUDIES needed. 100% results.

This brought to you by the Republican Party and the recent STUDY that found children who are brought up in religious households have quite a bit more trouble discerning what is real and what is not than children form secular households.

After being brought up in a Catholic extended family, going to church, confession and communion every Sunday and praying everyday for a decade, suddenly at about age 14  I came to understand – completely on my own – that it was all a silly pile crap to make money for a few as payment from the many to cope with their fears.

But the question is not so much that it happened – or has happened much the same to millions of others – but that it took me another 50 years to say out loud and publicly that I AM AN ATHEIST.

The answer of course is that I once had concern about employment, not getting shot in the back in  war zone, keeping my family safe from accusations of blasphemy and heresy, and actually giving a poop what people thought. Retired now, I don’t care what idiots think about me, even if they are 95% of humanity. In fact what a badge of honor to be so much smarter than most everyone else in the world!

And being that smart means I will soon share with you – with some of the previous work by my fellow atheists Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein –  the Grand Unified Theory. I will hand it over to the world as soon as I can get someone to translate it from Rackish to English.