Gay scientists have succeeded in isolating what they call the Christian gene! Once thought to be a chosen lifestyle, geneticists at the Pink Tiger Institute have discovered that Christianity is inherited, like baldness, myopia or homosexuality.
Parents are welcoming the news with relief. Gone is the burden of guilt which once preyed upon many who worried that they’d done something wrong, causing their offspring to embrace Christianity. The announcement is being greeted with derision by some Christians who object to the findings. The Christians claim they have made a lifestyle choice, and that one is not born into the religion.
Scientists assure parents and loved ones that it is perfectly natural for their Christian offspring and friends to feel that they have made a choice, and in doing so – can influence others to share in their beliefs. Counseling is recommended until such time as they can isolate the cause of the genetic aberration. Work with a qualified counselor may help Christians to make positive changes to their lifestyles and values.
The discovery is particularly exciting and timely in the wake of remarks made earlier this month by Gov. Rick Perry – himself a self-proclaimed Christian. Perry made headlines when he referred to homosexuality as a choice, akin to alcoholism. In other words, one can choose to simply quit homosexual behavior, in the same way you would choose not to take another drink. Of course Perry’s reasoning is incorrect. There is ample evidence to show that homosexuality is genetic and is not a chosen behavior. It is Perry instead who will need to make difficult choices as to whether he will continue his chosen behavior or modify it, now that it is known to be possible without a doubt.