Jimmy Kimmel has observed that Dr. Ben Carson did not make a particularly strong impression at the second Republican primary debate. I say he’s just getting warmed up; but Carson’s low energy could be good news for insomniacs everywhere! Carson has inspired a new product that, if it sells as well as we think it will, could possibly make him wealthier than Donald Trump The ingenious device uses only Ben Carson’s original recordings. Nothing has been added or edited, this is the genuine article, bound to be a collector’s item one day, folks.
Jimmy describes Ben Carson’s style: “He comes off like a guy who grabbed the wrong drink at Bill Cosby’s house.” If you are one of the millions who are up in the wee hours watching telemarketing because you just can’t sleep, that is good news.
Get ready to dial NOW. Ben Carson’s ‘Lullaby Ben’ TM Sleep System’ will drone you off to dreamland before you know it! Act fast because there’s a free gift for the first 555 million callers! Wake up to your own FREE Trump Clock! Imagine waking to The Donald’s dulcet tones; “Bing Bing Bong Bong Bing Bing”
You may have already observed Carson’s trademark style. On a 180 degree day in Iowa this summer, he held an audience in suspended stupefication ,while answering a political question (long forgotten) with a detailed scientific explanation of the mechanics of sound creation and reception, which ran approximately 8 hours by my estimation. Then again, dehydration skews time perception…But please do not ask him about it. Life is short.