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Jon Stewart, Rick Perry fcks the sht out of America!

…as he already has Texas.

Rick Perry is just a little dumber and a whole lot meaner than George W Bush.

As Perry has been the governor of Texas now for 11 years, longer than any other in history, he cannot get around owning up to his record. Here are the high points of Perry’s Texas Miracle! 

• State Aid Per Pupil in Average Daily Attendance – 47th

• Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) Scores – 45th

• % of Population 25 and Older with High School Diploma – 50th

• High School Graduation Rate – 43rd

• • Percent of Uninsured Children – 1st

• Percent of Children Living in Poverty – 4th

• Percent of Population Uninsured – 1st

• Percent of Low Income Population Covered by Medicaid – 49th

• Percent of Population with Employer-Based Health Insurance – 48th

• Total Health Expenditures as % of the Gross State Product – 43rd

• Per Capita State Spending on Medicaid – 49th

• Health Care Expenditures per Capita – 44th

• Physicians per Capita – 42nd

• Registered Nurses per Capita – 44th

• Average Monthly Women, Infant, and Children (WIC) Benefits per Person – 47th

• Teenage Birth Rate – 7th

• Births to Unmarried Mothers – 17th

• Percent of Women with Pre-Term Birth – 9th

• Percent of Pregnant Women Receiving Prenatal Care in First Trimester – 50th

As you can see, the plan for Texas – and soon for America – is to keep everyone in Texas uneducated enough that they will keep voting for Rick Perry until the coming Rapture. But do keep in mind what we down here in Dumbutt lack in education we make up for in praying and shooting. Things that matter most.

Women and children of course fare little better than our schools, but Governor Perry has worked his miracle to find hundreds of thousands of minimum wage and below jobs to make their futures secure. This is the gist of the numbers game played to jack up his job creation miracle, also keep in mind how much of your gas money flows into Texas.

Do not underestimate Rick Perry, he has not only God, Jesus Christ and the Tea Party behind him, he also has all the money he could possibly need from the Republican Citizens of the Supreme Court.

One may also ask… Are Americans so stupid that they will elect a clone of George W. Bush and have the GOP who got us into this economic nightmare, do it to us all over again? Without the lube…

The answer to that is a resounding YES WE ARE! YES WE ARE!