On tonight’s roster, we have Bill "I haven’t done bupkis for Haiti, but my how big my ratings are" O’Reilly. He knows it’s not the content, but the size that matters. Speaking of
starvation and the poor among us, Lt Gov. Andre Bauer R-SC. This must be seen to be believed. Bauer expounds upon his "uneducated" grammaw’s methods regarding the extermination of wild animals and as it happens, he believes it will work for hungry kids.They don’t eat they don’t breed. Geez, some are in first grade! We also look in on our neighbor Glenn Beck’s insights. Today’s lesson, dealing with "progressives" or in Beck’s world, Nazis. How to spot them, what they’re about, and what you can do to keep progressives from taking over our country!
Gold: Bill O’Reilly, Sixty networks carried the Help for Haiti telethon Friday. Fox News wasn’t one of them. Instead they aired a two hour boast-a-thon, never mentioning the telethon
in progress, instead lauding themselves over how great their coverage had been, past tense. The network flop of the year was hosted by none other than the ever-modest O’Reilly.
Silver: Lt. Gov.Andre Bauer R-SC .At last, an honest Republican! This one is too dumb to conceal his motives and methods passed down from his "uneducated" back-woods grammaw. You see he got the folksy touch in so you’ll be sure to warm to his ideas. He expounds as if it makes good sense, and will save the state of South Carolina untold amounts of money. I believe Marie Antoinette said something silly about cake to the poor and lost her head. Nothing happens to greedy, ‘got mine’ Republicans in office, who are stupid and greedy enough to not only compare school children with wild animals, but to make clear that if it’s up to him no disadvantaged child will have a hot meal. Starve ’em out so they won’t breed is the Republican mantra of the day, passed down from Gramma.
Bronze: Glenn Beck. This is information you need! Progressives are not only "on a mission," they have morphed into Nazis, and Commies. Fear not! The Beckster tells you how to deal with them. If you’re not certain how to spot them, look for a T-shirt of Chairman Mao or Stalin on the front.