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Olbermann Worst: Conjugal visit take out, inmate caught in suitcase

Gold: The Pentagon, and the U.S. War Machine. When you hear what the United States spends on air conditioning alone – in Iraq and Afghanistan,it’s no mystery as to why we’re broke. Okay, it’s Twenty billion, two hundred million! That’s just for air conditioning, not weapons, protective gear, food, shelter and unknown other expenses. We might cure our budgetary woes if we would adopt a peace-nick, or Switzerland – like attitude for a while. It won’t be easy. Americans for peace and frugality can expect very big and pouty demonstrations from military types and large corporations which have become accustomed to the easy riches of war profiteering.

Silver: John J Doherty of the NYC Sanitation Dept. An 83-year-old woman learned the hard way that you don’t mess with the Department of Sanitation! Given uniforms, these city employees have the confidence (and time) to stake out public waste baskets – yes, waste baskets on the street! These dogged defenders of self-importance, are not above leaping out of the car, and lunging across the street to grab a citizen, who might be – throwing away garbage. Severe punishment then ensues. The complete and unabridged story may cause you to view the woman with empathy, just remember, that there is no excuse for a scoff-law,no matter how many candles are on her birthday cake! Hint to family and friends, she will be needing some cash to pay her fines, which could climb exponentially!

Bronze: Maria del Mar Arjona is a dedicated wife from Mexico. Maria’s husband Juan Ramirez Tijerina, grew weary of serving a 20-year sentence for illegal weapons possession. A plot was hatched, and appropriately, he was found in a fetal position. Hind-sight is 20/20, and we can see that a hard-sided suitcase on wheels would have been the better choice. A few practice runs with a 150 lb weight wouldn’t have hurt either, nor would a diet and yoga exercises for the already slim inmate. It’s unlikely that they will get to try again, Maria was arrested and charges are pending. The things we do for love.