You are never too old. For anything.
I found the fountain of youth in Rock & Roll. Paddy here found it in the dance. It seems music is the key to it… Support live music. Shake your booty. Never stop having fun…
And in the THINGS I WRITE THAT NO ONE READS DEPARTMENT…
Speaking of old people, just the other day I ran into a sour old man. I had stopped at the AutoZone in the rain to get new windshield wipers, including the problematic small one on the back of my old SUV. I had the clerk put them on for me.
As I was pulling out of the parking lot I noticed in the rear view mirror that the back wiper was not doing the job. So I drove to the right of the empty parking lot to get at the problem before I left, as perhaps I needed a different size or something. I soon found it was a matter of bending the shaft of it just right. I had to stop it to bend it, and then try it. So I left the driver side door open to make it easy to reach in and turn it on and off as I went to the back numerous times. There was enough room for 3 cars to pass by me at the end of the empty lot.
Suddenly I was interrupted by a long horn blast while reaching in the car. I turned to find a little old car, with a big old dog in the passenger seat and a mean looking old man honking behind the wheel.
I leaned down and asked, “Can I help you?”
“Close your door you stupid fk!”
“There is more than enough room for you to get by. But if you need some help I could do it for you.”
“Don’t be a stupid fk, you a whole!” he shot back as he peeled away.
“Have a nice day!” I yelled after him.
As he sped off I noticed the bumper sticker. No lie.
MY DOG IS SMARTER THAN YOU
He got that partly right. For as the dog just looked out the window smiling…
MY DOG IS SMARTER THAN I AM it should have read
And of course an old faded BUSH/CHENEY bumper sticker too. Who would have guessed?