Dumbass, Texas – The Bush White House announced Monday that political advisor Karl Rove is planning to resign at the end of August. The official reason given was so Mr. Rove could spend more time with his family.
The unofficial reason, according to unnamed party sources, is rumored to be that Rove will be assigned the task of establishing an underground railroad system for Bushies to escape the country when they leave office in January 2009.
Sources say Rove has been studying the structure and methods of ODESSA, the infamous and hidden network of Nazis that was used to spirit accused Nazi war criminals out of Europe and into the Middle East and South America. Washington insiders have thought for some time that members of the Bush administration could be the subjects of the public’s wrath, should they leave office. Rove’s new network could provide an avenue to escape such fearful retribution.
Other Washington insiders have pointed out the Bushsters may not immediately need the underground escape system, since there are plans afoot to seize the US government and establishing a new system, using Juan Peron’s Argentina as a model.
President Bush’s office refused to comment on any of the speculation. When asked about ODESSA, the President remarked, “I used to listen to her all the time. You’re talking about the folk singer, right?”