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SNL: BP press conference new ideas to stop the oil spill

Trying to shove a tapered pipe into the break to syphon the oil up to a tanker ship failed yesterday when the wreckage shifted. Another try is scheduled for later today. BP warns that even if it works it will not stem most of the oil belching forth. They still have their hopes on stopping it later this week by shoving golf balls up the thing. Bloomberg
latest on BP oil spill

Polls show that non Republicans would like to see the BP chairman and his gang grab their woods and personally go down their to drive their balls up the tube. Republicans have taken note and changed their slogan from DRILL BABY DRILL to DRILL SAFELY BABY DRILL! So there’s some progress!