Well, it looks like Kate McKinnon has this job all wrapped up for the next 9 years.
No wait! It was recently found that Bill makes too much money on speaking engagements – though still only half as much as Ronald Reagan who got a million for a speech in Japan – that the Clinton charity foundation is far too successful and she told the Republicans to shove her email up their ass if they could find it.
Conservatives don’t like Jeb Bush so much he has withdrawn from the Iowa straw poll leaving Ted Cruz as the charismatic Joe McCarthy of the GOP. This of course could add up to a new direction for America in President Bernie Sanders.
Which would cause most Republicans to emigrate to… Um… Where is it more conservative than here? Um… Let’s see… Russia? Iran? Oh, Singapore! Wide open spaces. But they can’t take their home arsenals to any of those cool places, which I guess leaves only Somalia or Uganda.